So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
