I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
