we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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