I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
