I'm gonna have a badass scar
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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