i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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