I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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