Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
