If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
