i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
