2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
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