You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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