I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
