Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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