the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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