How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
