I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
