He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We have so much sex to catch up on
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
dude. I can hear the air.
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