I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
