we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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