nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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