Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he fucked my hip out of place.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
