i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Randomize
