They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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