where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it glows. i had to have it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
