We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
