At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The chlamydia really affected his face.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
