another moral hangover. fuck.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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