It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
