I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
