worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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