I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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