marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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