i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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