sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
