My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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