we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
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On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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