Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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