She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
