do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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