I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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