i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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