I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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