ugly people sure do ruin things
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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