butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
