He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
