Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
You left your phone here
Wait...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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