my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize