Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
