he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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