what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
