i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
