Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
