I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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