im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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