I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
