it hurts more in the daytime
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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