garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That accounts for only three of the penises
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
