now i know why i became what i already was.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
