The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize