my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
