Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
