I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
