Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
