We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
